You would think there would have been a TON of Jar Jar Binks-themed candy in 1999, since there was pretty much “Jar Jar” everything else, but there really weren’t too many Jar Jar-based candies, at least in the USA. I’m not talking about candy bars that just happen to have JJB’s image on the wrapper, but candy or candy dispensers centered around him. Luckily, the few Binks-based candy items that came out are pretty memorable…or infamous!
This little thing, which vaguely resembles a podracer engine, contained Willy Wonka Tart n’ Tinys:
The big draw, I guess, is the Jar Jar lenticular sticker, which is sadly peeling off 13 years later…it depicts the dramatic moment in which JJB got his snout in the power couplings:
I’m more impressed with the top of the lid, which features a panicked JJB in relief:
The UK got this odd canister full of various Cadbury chocolates—the side of it says it held “treatsize” (read: too small) bars of “Fudge”, “Caramel”, “Wispa Gold”, “Crunchie”, and 2 FULL size “Star Wars Bars”:
It’s pretty sturdy cardboard; it’s withstood 4 or 5 moves over the years, and the Jar Jar head on top of it looks like some quasi-religious artifact. The whole thing makes a weird and imposing display piece.
What a shame that PEZ has never made a standard Jar Jar Binks PEZ dispenser—on the other hand, they did make this stellar motorized “PEZ Hander” diorama:
One of my top 10 favorite TPM artifacts, for sure. Jar Jar? Present. Gragra the Gorgmonger? Present. Dead green Chuba? Present. You press the button, JJB grabs a PEZ with his tongue, and Gragra pointlessly chops into thin air! It’s kind of a lot of work for such a small candy pay-off, but what other candy toy has portrayed such a bizarre scene?? I really love this thing.
Despite the near-universal hatred, I kinda love this too, if only because it’s such a terrible idea:
You’ve probably heard of the Jar Jar MONSTER MOUTH, since it invariably appears on those tired “10 Zaniest Star Wars Items EVAR!” things that seem to crop up on lame websites every few months. Make no mistake, it’s weird and gross:
…And is even more horrific when opened—the “tongue” lollipop fit in the middle, and would pop out for you to lick or whatever when you pushed the plunger part forward:
I don’t know, what does anybody expect?? It’s called a MONSTER MOUTH, after all!
I wanted to know if the JJB Monster Mouth and the JJB PEZ hander could work together, so with my lovely wife helping, I tried…and no, they can’t work together:
Be@rbricked Binks ?