Bootlegged Binks: Jar Jar June Day 28

      
I love the optimism of the international syndicate of bootleggers in 1999—they didn’t think that there would be enough Jar Jar to go around, so they took matters into their own hands…and the chemically-burned hands of those working in their back-alley toy factories. The results are below, with minimal commentary. When applicable, the actual Hasbro Jar Jar figure will be on your left for comparison. One word of advice before you scroll down—don’t breathe in the fumes, and limit touching these figures with your bare hands…they’re TOXIC!!!
      
Why would they bootleg the tiny bust that came inside that glittery soap?!? You can see how shoddy the paint on the bootleg is compared to the real deal.

      
My mom picked up these unlicensed stickers for me while visiting Eastern Europe a couple of years ago. I don’t know if you can see it too well, but the top right sticker is hilarious—you’d never see an official sticker of random Podrace spectators!

      
Most bootlegs are smaller than the real figure, because they make a mold using the original which automatically shrinks them…but not this one! This Jar Jar’s white and red arms suggest that he was tortured with chemicals. They didn’t even bother to scale up his staff!

      
This bootleg is SUPER-rubbery…I think he’s made out of a melted-down tire with poisonous lead paint slopped all over.

      
You can see how short this one is, and he’s very dense. You could probably shatter a car’s windshield with it if you threw it hard enough!

      
Definitely produced at the same bootleg factory as the previous one, but this one didn’t pass quality control (as if that matters to the bootleggers!)—if you look closely, his right arm is held on with Sticky-tac, and so are his ears.

      
My favorite one—I call him Albino Jar Jar. He’s made of the most cheap, hollow plastic available…and look at his sinister eyes!!
      

The carded figures could probably fool some well-meaning Granny at a flea market, as for the most part, they looked pretty close to the real thing…except when they inexplicably featured other characters’ faces on the front of the card!!
      
      
      
      
Wow, an actual Jar Jar picture on the card!! The comically huge picture in the “Commtech chip” is just a folded piece of cardboard. The bootlegs should say, “NOW FIGURES TALK!…but not this one!”
 
      
Who doesn’t love the Space Wars Saga???

      
You can still find these wind-up TPM bootlegs regularly on eBay. This is like the poor man’s version of the Jar Jar Palm Talker.

      
The friendly little super-deformed Jar Jar on the left glows in the dark, supposedly…maybe only at a wavelength that bats can see?

               
Blue-Vest Binks has the demeanor and gravitas of a small statue of a Saint. I wish I had gotten this for my First Communion.

      

                                                 
yesterday:                                                             tomorrow:
The Many Tongues of JJB                                    Jar Jar ‘83

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